hippyhill

No. The body would be taken. Immediately. By paramedics. No right-thinking doctor would leave a dead body in a room. It's too dangerous and it's just not right. Unless they ...

Thankyou for your advice. How about if I was to change the beggining so that Mrs Jackson stays in the room with her, then when Alyssa starts pounding the body ...

Hiya, Hippygirl. As I promised, I returned. Now, that I am fully rested, let's have a look shall we? :) I re-read your whole story, and I must say, when ...

Despite my being almost-but-not-quite completely lost...I will try to help. How could you improve it? Well, with more description, perhaps. Amala sat in the large, almost royal looking library, watchi

Despite my being almost-but-not-quite completely lost...I will try to help. How could you improve it? Well, with more description, perhaps. Amala sat in the large, almost royal looking library, watchi

Despite my being almost-but-not-quite completely lost...I will try to help. How could you improve it? Well, with more description, perhaps. Amala sat in the large, almost royal looking library, watchi

I have a few comments, hope that they help. You really gripped me emotionally, really got into the head of the characters well and made me feel what they were ...

This is awesome i love the way you ended it right there i'd be searching everywhere to find out what happened. :D the only thing i would change would be ...