hankesj

Luvzi12- Okay, so first off..You really need to work on SHOWING us your story..not TELLING. Expand, expand, expand. Your sentences read kind of like the spot books. See spot. See ...

Tanker- Okay. I think the story line is great, however I think you really need to work on sentence structure, chracter development, dialouge. To me- you have written sentences like ...

I usually really dislike when people write their own views or expand on a story someone else wrote, but this was fantastic. I felt the same fire as when i ...

I fell in love with this piece from the first paragraph. Maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me that burned bright when i read this...but i absoultly LOVED your writing. ...

I really enjoyed this piece. The way i imagined it was almost a cross between Ferngully-ness and mythical characters. You are a natural writer and it shows in this piece. ...

OMG. OMG. You are amazing! I have already fallen in love with Amelia. She has this perfection in her imperfection sort of thing going on.. and i like her sarcastic ...

You really captured the characters very nicely. I'm impressed. I think you should expand this chapter a little more. Add what some of the other cullens are feeling. Like Carlilse ...

KJ... I've spent two days here on the forum and the first thing i do is reread your pieces. I just recently read the Twilight Saga..and reading this piece so ...

KJ- I'm glad that you decided to go out of the box, because this piece was amazing. It is writers like you that not only motivate me to write, but ...