gyrfalcon

What a brilliantly rounded man Lewis must have been: I would have loved to meet him. *smug* It just totally crashed on me, about a month ago, that I'll get ...

My biggest critique would be about the child's voice. While the style is great, this really doesn't sound like a child talking. I'd agree with Mr. Fledgling here, this was ...

First off, would you mind going through and putting spaces between your paragraphs? Makes it a whole lot easier to read. Second, you might want to scan through and check ...

Just looking through your portfolio, found this again. Shai , I still love it, you know, just had to pop in and give it a gold star. Question: may I ...

Darling! Here we are, and here we go: the seven hundredth Soul Transition Station Might work better as “700th” The line went all the way along the short “Next,” she ...

Meh! Did I not just comment on here? *hunt for comment* :? Well then, gist: here I am, shall have a look-see, would you please separate paragraphs with spaces to ...

Hey there, darling, and welcome to YWS! I'm gyrfalcon, one of the junior moderators around here, so feel free to PM me with any questions. First off, good for you ...

What is there to say? L'Engle is a genius, and I've always loved this book. My favorite line: "It's not just the weather: it's the weather on top of everything ...

For Chapter 3: ‘War! Huh-yeah. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Uh-huh.’ – Edwin Starr, War :shock: o-kay then… feathered baldric that showed him to be chief of the ...

Here is part one of my review, encompassing parts one and two of your loverly work! I shall answer you poignant questions when I'm done with a full review, but ...

Lynlyn, quiet enjoyable. I recently did some research on Pompeii and so the title caught my eye; I got a real sense of a captured perfect moment here, which is ...

I must say, just beautiful. This isn't the first time I've seen Fire personified, but it is one of the very best. To you, this element is not all anger, ...

Yay! :D I normally hate giving useless crits, but I really enjoyed this a lot and couldn't really find anything wrong with it (but then, I'm not a poet). I ...

Overall a very intriguing and attention-grabbing intro to a story, darling. The way you've formatted it (first like a news report and then like some kind of official journal) further ...

Maybe this will be the time; maybe she’ll play with me this time, I think. Good sentence, but I think you need to change the punctuation: comma instead of a ...