forest_ofthe_nightingale

OK, this has potential, but it jumps too quickly from the cutting to telling the mother what the subject has been doing. Why did that person tell on themself? Why ...

This poem is soo beautiful! There was only one minorly minor thing I could barely find "wrong" (i probably shouldn't even label it as "wrong") OK, just put quote marks ...

I definitely agree with Dream about the grammar and the second-to-last sentence, but in some other sentences, the order in which you placed the words doesn't sound as good as ...

Yup, i totally agree. It definitely shows how crappy this world is, BUT (oh no, here it comes!) I think the flow of the poem could be a lot better. ...

Hmm... I like some of the description, but its all just little fragments and you don't really get much of a picture... Like here: soft air humming cool buzz silver ...

When I read this, I wasn't really sure how to really read it. I don't know, but it didn't seem to all fit together. I actually like the title (I'm ...

Yeah, um, yoha ( its weird calling you that, but oh well...) I'm gonna take my poem back... and explain a bit too. I actually did start writing a story ...

I think this is a good poem. It really hit me and I was like "yeah, I completely agree with that." but I don't quite understand the phrase "It was ...

This is a really awesome poem, but I don't like how you doubled phrases twice in a row: Let me forget let me forget Or let me go let me ...

Ok, this is a really awesome poem, but there's just one thing that kinda bugged me. before I found you sprawled in a romantic heap on the sand (but still ...