flytodreams

Hiya, Matt realized that his lungs were crying for oxygen and he loudly gulped for air. It flows better if you type 'gulped loudly' instead of 'loudly gulped'. Like archer123 ...

Hiya! It was really good. :D I found it very interesting, and your writing style is very lucid. You could add a little more description though, to balance out the ...

I've only read the first book. :oops: As most people round here think, I don't think it deserved even a quarter of the popularity it got. I don't hate it, ...

Hi, WOW! This was really good, better than the prologue. :) I adored the way you wrote all the action, although I agree with RubinLikes2Write. You could add some more ...

Hi, I really liked this piece. It flowed wonderfully, and the vocabulary level was great. I didn't notice anything wrong. Only the prologue doesn't seem to hint at anything much ...

Hello! It's Q from Facebook. 8) I really enjoyed this, the style was beautiful and artsy. The sentences flowed really well. All the best with the contest! :smt038

Hello! I really enjoyed this. Your writing style is so fresh, modern and interesting, I adore it. The description of the princesses could be shortened to keep the reader reading, ...

Hi, I suck at critiquing, but I'll try my best. ^_^ This piece was really far too short. It was empty of description or characterization or any sort of detail. ...

I'm here! 8) Well, I was getting confused with the flashbacks and then the maybe you might want to smooth that out. That was the only thing I noticed that ...

Hi, This is a very well-written piece! :) I enjoyed it. But I caught one mistake. Once upon a time, in an ordinary… In fact, scrap that, I am Logan ...

I think you kind of switched POVs in the beginning. Since he worked in the kitchens, there was always the faint smell of flour lingering around him. He found little ...

Just Wacky by Andy Griffith. It was weird, dorky, insane, nonsensical... :o I was going NUTS while reading it...sheesh. :?

Hi, "Alexandru's father is going to have you killed. Don't ask me how I know...just trust me. Do you trust me, Corina?" Daniel asked, standing up. That's all very well, ...

Hi Wow, that was very well-written. Your choice in words, the was all so eloquent. The dialogue was also well-done, as it was so realistic. He was already in human ...

Hey, I liked this very much. It was very interesting because the...action, I guess...kept the reader interested. The only thing that stuck out (at me) was: “Sunny! Sunny!” he whispered ...