eldEr

It's been revised and the pesky numbers taken out ;) I still need a few pointers though...One day I plan on getting enough of this revised and done so that ...

It has been revised! I still need tips, tips, tips and more tips!

Okay, revisions have been made. Is there anything awkward about them?

It's been revised, but I still need some suggestions!

Alright, I've revised it. Does anybody else have anything they'd like to add? If I ever plan on getting it published, I'm going to need help with my stilted dialogue. ...

Thanks! The review really helped! I do however, have to say one thing. When you said "There are a hudndred way to kill a man with your bare hands.....".. The ...

Understood and being applied. I seemed to notice that I was doing alright up until chapter 3. Things started getting rockier there... I'm fixing things up on OpenOffice now. I ...

Well, I can't expect everybody to agree. I did spend time on the topics, but they are short. I'm not going to talk on and on and on about one ...

Okay, I'll attempt to make the beginning less cliche'. But if you were extremely over-trusting of others and a girl randomly showed up looking from out-of-this world, asked you about ...

Ha!! Nice!!! I totally agree with captain.classy. You are the next WeirdAl!! I tip my hat to you!

wow, thanks! I'll have to keep that in mind. You learn later why Dellan is so trustworthy, I promise ;) . Dellan has a very....different outlook on reality and his ...

Okay, all fixed up! Thanks! I'm glad you liked it ;)

Oops...sorry, it double posted for some reason! I don't know how to delete it though...

Corrections, suggestions and comments are all in red. ;) ___________________________________________ Chapter one So…if I calculated correctly, the total amount of this fine looking dress, with the t

Yeah... I have tons more to add to it, but I'm trying to find where to put it all... I think I'll edit a bit now!