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Re: Family Restaurant
Hey there, Seeing as you have no reviews yet, I'm here to check your story out. It had been a morning filled with cherry blossoms, sprinkling the ground like candies ...
Dec 3, 2009 -
Re: An Unlikely Hero - Issue 0 to 2
I like the style you've used in the first chapter, the first-person life story grabbed my attention and held it. I read it once, and all I could really say ...
May 20, 2009 -
Re: Onmitsu - Chapter II
Here as requested :] I decided that, after Ohagi put me to bed, I would kill my father. I don't think you need the first comma. not a dead one, ...
Mar 4, 2009 -
Re: .
Here as per request ^^ Feel free to come back and leave me another piece to review, anytime. Only today was Thursday. Today was a Thursday would sound better. Clair ...
Feb 26, 2009 -
Re: Say You Mean It - 1.2
Here as requested, KJ dearest! I enjoyed reading that - you write very well - and I think you've done a great job with developping the characters. You focus on ...
Feb 26, 2009 -
Re: S.P. 0.1
Hey there, Here as requested =] No. The one opposite me was breathing slightly. I watched her chest go up and down, sighing in the relief that I wasn’t responsible ...
Feb 26, 2009 -
Re: Return to the stars-- Chapter one
*snuggles kitteh* Thanks for posting this, it's awesome. Don't want nitpicks ? Aww, but they're so fun to do. I'll do my best to resist the temptation >.> I love ...
Feb 24, 2009 -
Re: Horus
Hey there, Connie dearest. Here as requested (though, I'm sorry, very late.) Just a few little nitpicks: Repetition. You use tormented, then tornmenters, almost consequtive sentences. The word "caw" i
Feb 24, 2009 -
Re: Llama Boy
Hey there, Teddy dearest! Here as requested ^_^ The new boy’s mother was pushing him in his wheelchair. The class stared at him, disbelieving their eyes. disbelieving their eyes isn't ...
Feb 23, 2009 -
Re: Empty Spaces Pt. 1
Hey there, Connie dearest! ^^ The streets of the town were lonely, save for the dust that the breeze stirred up on occasion; forming into tiny vortexes that waltzed down ...
Feb 22, 2009 -
Re: Owl Eyes (The Final Part)
Stella dearest ^^ I came back to review part 3 as promised. As the other parts are, this one, too, is adorably cute. The entire concept may be prone to ...
Feb 22, 2009 -
Re: [deleted]
*salutes* Here as requested, Poppy dearest ! You've asked for an overall, so I'll be sure to do that. The occasional nitpick might appear randomly... I find it hard to ...
Feb 22, 2009 -
Re: See Emily Play
Hello there, Thai ^^ *Refrains from biting you* =] Heh, okay. Review it is. She was my aristocratic, Aristocats watching princess with brown curly hair. To me, it looked as ...
Feb 22, 2009 -
Re: I am fire
Hey there, my Adna dearest ^_^ So, here's your general opinion review of the poem, seeing as I am rather failacular at it myself and am therefor incapable of giving ...
Feb 22, 2009 -
Re: Say You Mean It - 1.1
Hey there, KJ. Loved by strangers and a hypnotizing sex symbol with her music. This sentence doesn’t flow so well. Restructure it, maybe? Something along the lines of “Loved by ...
Feb 21, 2009
