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Re: Haikus (2)
I think your trying new kind of poetry idea is really cool. If I knew anything about haikus I would review these but honestly I have no idea how to ...
Jan 17, 2010 -
Re: The island :: Chapter 2 part 1
This isn't a real review I just wanted to point out that "the island" is 1. a very generic name and 2. has been used for several different novels and ...
Jan 13, 2010 -
Re: My 1st Post
"Yet the intent with which they were marching gave the notion that a worn path was not of the essence." I would revise that sentence to make it more understandable, ...
Jul 13, 2009 -
Re: Revised Doki Doki Moon- prologue
Hi! Nice job! Quote: emotionless drones- an army of clones The unintentional rhyming seems to throw off the mood that you are trying to set for me. Try using a ...
Nov 20, 2008 -
Re: What to write?
Overly simplistic ryhme scheme, but for a funny poem it was quite good. Maybe sharpening up the words a bit soit flows better in places would be good, but I ...
Oct 30, 2008
