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danster724

  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Haikus (2)

    I think your trying new kind of poetry idea is really cool. If I knew anything about haikus I would review these but honestly I have no idea how to ...

    Jan 17, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: The island :: Chapter 2 part 1

    This isn't a real review I just wanted to point out that "the island" is 1. a very generic name and 2. has been used for several different novels and ...

    Jan 13, 2010
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: My 1st Post

    "Yet the intent with which they were marching gave the notion that a worn path was not of the essence." I would revise that sentence to make it more understandable, ...

    Jul 13, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Revised Doki Doki Moon- prologue

    Hi! Nice job! Quote: emotionless drones- an army of clones The unintentional rhyming seems to throw off the mood that you are trying to set for me. Try using a ...

    Nov 20, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: What to write?

    Overly simplistic ryhme scheme, but for a funny poem it was quite good. Maybe sharpening up the words a bit soit flows better in places would be good, but I ...

    Oct 30, 2008


No one achieves anything alone.
— Leslie Knope