confetti

The things written in blue are suggestions The things written in red are for the grammatical mistakes that really should be changed The things written in green are my comments ...

loud D rown s out The fear. Takes away The feeling from. I agree with the person above, this stops too abruptly, you should think about expanding. More volume Less ...

was a dense cluster of palm trees. This should be one paragraph. Not very many grammatical mistakes, but I would like to point out that this story goes by very ...

Light poured through, showering her with music I wish you had given 'her' a name, it would have made your character more memorable, but the piece is so short that ...

Gah, this was very good, but so is everything of yours that I have read. The only part I wasn't feeling was this: "Yeah." "Okay." "I love you, Sarah." I ...

Bang.Bang.Bang. Spaces m'dear. Bang. Bang. Bang. Ugh! Who the heck bangs on your door that hard in the middle of the night? Seeing as my parents are away on vacation, ...

I really liked this, like, really. I don't write poetry, and I don't pretend to be an expert, but I do think you could use more commas. The hole was ...

A picture's worth a thousand words is what they say, or so I've heard. But think of myth, of ancient scripture a word can paint a thousand pictures. "Beauty" to ...

I truly enjoyed this. I liked the idea, a battle between mind and body. I think it would be interesting if you had told who won, (most likely mind, since ...

I'm just going to be blunt here, and say I hated this. ONLY JOKING, did I give you a heart attack? In all complete honesty, I am SO impressed. I've ...

I saw this title and laughed. I like how relatable this poem is (for girls, I mean), but at the same time, I felt you made it a tad dramatic. ...

And so, I grew fonder and fonder of him as time passes. The only thing I wanted to point out was this - it should be passed. But it could ...

“Excuse me,” I stopped a young man passing by after five minutes of searching for the person that would give me the information I desired, “have you seen Prince Giorgio ...

“What the hell is going on?” I whisper-yelled at him. I know what you mean by whisper-yelled, but it just doesn't sound right to me. "I whispered at him" , ...

George said with authority, though he was only seven months older that than I. I did not here hear any words Mk, those were just some tiny mistakes. What I ...