chocoholic

Hey. I loved the story. The plot was very interesting, but there are a few mistakes I can point out. You change tenses a lot. It makes the story confusing ...

Wow! Harry Potter much? No, it's good. I definetely see a lot of Harry Potter in there, but you've added your own creativity. You don't really describe much. We need ...

I thought this was really sweet. It would be nice if you had the mother and daughter talking about one month later, not just the son. I was confused a ...

I read a lot of YA. It's usually my fav genre. It's usually quite good, but sometimes the author has no idea what they're talking about. I hate reading books ...

Sweet, interesting, well written. I could use all these word to describe this piece, but I'm going to go with absurd. It was good, I just can't imagine anyone telling ...

Oh God! Thanks a lot! Now I'm terrified to wear beads. That piece was seriously freaky. It went from being a normal, oh this kid doesn't fit in let's tease ...

This was a really sweet piece. I loved the innocence in the child. So much innocence. I thought Grampa was speaking in tounges until it said it was the lords ...

I want to read this, but I just borrowed eight books from the library. Once I have finished all of those (plus Deception Point and Digital Fortress) I am so ...

Another great chapter, but I really don't know if I can wait six weeks. It will be hard, definetely, but maybe I can do it! Like others have said, the ...

Ok. This piece, no offence, is really creeepy. It doesn't mean yo're a bad writer, it just means you might want to try and soften the story a bit, unless ...

Nice. Very nice. The only mistake I could find was when you wrote seven-teen. You don't need the - in there. Just write seventeen. The plot is a little confusing. ...

Another great chapter. The only thing I didn't like about it wad the wait!!! But I know how it feels. I have an important scholarship test tomorrow and I've done ...

This is sweet, but it ends quite fast. Is it done, or is there more coming? Leah seems to have an okay relationship with her mother. They really do seem ...

Interesting concept. I understand where this girl is coming from. I haven't moved schools, but when I start a new ater-school activity or something I feel like this. Plus I'm ...

This was very brief. Sometimes I've found that it can be good in a story, but I don't think it seemed to work in this one. It probably would have ...