carelessaussie13

Hey there! Aussie speaking, how do ya do? Anyway, poetry. Right. I like what your saying here. I just think it could be said a bit better. Try this: imagine ...

Hi! I'm Aussie, nice to meet you! Hmmm . . .I get what you're saying here. I think we all get what you're saying her, because we're all writers. But ...

Hi! I'm a big Mary Oliver fan myself, and I guess I can say I'm a pretty big fam of you now too because I really liked your poem here. ...

Hmm . . . I like a lot of your visuals. I like your theme, too, that sometimes the wrong choice can be the right choice. Your rhyme seemed a ...

This, my friend, is a classic case of a little something I like to call poem-squinching. This means that you're trying to squish a beautiful, expansive poem into this tight ...

Edits/Comments/Suggestions in red It kills me inside knowing, (remove comma, remove "inside") All that he is (try "How beautiful he is) And feeling, how none of it belongs to me. ...

Hmm . . . well, it's pretty, that's for sure, but pretty doesn't necessarily make a good poem. I don't get what it means, either. It seems like the first ...

Hi! I'm Aussie and I think I've read your poems before. . .which brings me to critiquing your poem. It was lovely, don't get me wrong. I really liked it. ...

Hmmm. . .first impressions: nearly perfect! Second impression: nearly perfect, but here are some things to think about. First line. I don't actually think "unthought of" is grammatically correct, but ...

I really liked this. Really. It's totally my family. One thing I think you might want to look at is saying something about why and how the shift between hostility ...

Very good. Pat yourself on the back. My only thing was the exclamation point at the very end. We're generally smart people, we'll get that it's a funny line. Generally, ...

Hmmm. . . pretty. I liked it. But I have to say, I got a little too carried up in the rhythm. I think that in a poem of this ...

Okay. So. This is a good place to start, but right now you've really got nothing here. They challenge with being a poet in to today's world is that so ...

I have to say I really liked this piece. It was great how you talked about the paint-smear on the wall and then the grease-smear on the vending machine, that ...

Hey! Okay, so this was really good, but I had a little bit of an issue. Maybe it was just a me-thing, but I guess I should tell you anyway, ...