bkwrm

This is good - also it seems very real. When someone close dies, it is the trivial things that really set you off - like the wooden table - so ...

This poem is a really nice expression of faith and the sentiment behind it comes through really well. However, you do need to work on your final stanza - it ...

With her expensive clothes a-mess and hair unkept I think you mean unkempt , as in untidy, as opposed to unkept, which means unfulfilled or broken. Amongst her in this ...

This poem has some serious flow problems - it's really stilted, and doesn't lend itself to being read aloud at all. I think you should do as gadi suggests to ...

You've made a few grammatical mistakes, but in general, this is a very good piece of writing. I really like the way you've written from a very simple point of ...

Interesting. This reminds me of a book called 'The Ringmaster's Daughter'. Have you read it? If not you should. I do think you need to expand upon this, but you've ...

I've noticed you have a little difficulty in making your speech sound natural - it seems a little forced, too scripted. What you need to do is go through and ...

Wow! You really know how to write a story Kim! You already know the grammatical mistakes - there's just one that hasn't been pointed out;- The only thing that moved ...

I just can't get over how good you are at writing. You really draw your reader in. I've noticed that you've made quite a few mistakes, apostrophe-wise eg. your intead ...

I like this. It's really refreshing for someone to use you instead of he/she or I. pink mouldings that called for you to sit under. Try 'pink mouldings that called ...

Just three things this time; “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!” Add a question mark in before the exclamation mark. Aronn watched the two angels thru the window. 'Through' not 'thru'. ...

Oooh - intriguing. This is really good. I can't even spot any grammatical mistakes this time -you're just getting better and better. I'm totally hooked to your story! Bkwrm :D

This is really good Kim. How is it that you always have work that's consistently good? Now I feel jealous!!! Just a couple of grammatical points - yet again those ...

This is really good. As Kim says, it is beautiful. There's just one thing - I'm not sure about the rhythm of this bit; 'Trying to keep the world from ...

It's really good Kim. There's quite a few grammatical mistakes which I tried to write out for you, but my computer is being stroppy and deleted it all, and I'm ...