beckiw

Hey Ultraviolet :) So I'm going to nit pick through this section of your story and then give some general comments. OK, I knew I that, - This doesn't make ...

Hey InnerVoice :) The young lady tucked a strand of black hair behind one ear and took a deep - I know it's difficult to find things to use to ...

Hey Auteur :) My face crumples, squeezing back tears. I have to be strong. - You switch tenses here. Before this you have been writing in past tense so this ...

Hey Skutter :) "Yes, I know it's of short notice and yes I do know what time it is, but this is important, alright, goodbye, Ms.Beecham . - You missed ...

Hey Dems! :P Since I know you have to submit this tonight I'm just going to do a nit picky review and not all the overall stuff. Hope that's ok! ...

Hey tam_ara Cynthia was a read a huge amount of books. - I don't really understand this sentence. Did you mean 'Cynthia was reading a huge amount of books." ? ...

Hey Forgotpzwrd :) Tala wipes her tears with her hand & looked up at the tall, handsome American man with a flashy suit on. - You switched tenses here. I ...

Hey White Dwarf :) I’m the oldest of all my friends because I stayed back in 4Th grade because I transferred to the town of Eaton. - I don't like ...

Hey again Tree Hugger :) It was a painting woman - I think you meant 'It was a painting of a woman' I said carefully from under the blanket that ...

Hey Tree Hugger :) “Sure darling. Just be sure to get back before dark. Charles called and said that there were wild dogs in the area.” - l don't like ...

Hey Kylan! My mouth tastes is ash and I ask you if you want to walk down to the pond in the hayfarm. - I think this is a mistake ...

Haha I love that you actually wrote this. I would be offended but I think it is just too awesome xD Erm review wise...I think you should go more in ...

Hey Leeanna :) She pulled the bloody sword out. She swung the swords at him, slashing his rough skin several times. Finally, she threw one sword at his neck. She ...

Hey Caite Blood poured from her leg soaking the sandy ground around her quickly in crimson. - I don't think that you need the quickly here. It just seems really ...

Hey noobcake :) he stopped walking and reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone, which was vibrating. - The end of this sentence is a little weird. You have ...