barefootrunner

Hi there, jcha! I'm here for a quick review. The title of your poem struck me at once, so I was very anxious to read it and get to the ...

Hi there! Here for another quick review :) I'll go more into details (alias nitpicks) here, since you've got a few good reviews already :) What I liked, was the ...

Hi there! Okay, firstly, way too many characters. The reader only hears their names, but has nothing to connect them to or remember them by. If you have to name ...

Hi there! Yup, I've got the order wrong, but after going through your last three chapters, I couldn't resist doing this. Okay, greeeeeeaaaaaat start! Just saying :D I really loved ...

Hi there! Yup, it's me again. I saw more of the balance I was looking for in this work. You are really implementing your characters very well to get different ...

Hi there! I'm back for another quick review. Here, I did not see the same balance I saw in your previous chapter. I was blind. What I mean by that, ...

Hi there, Buggie, and a belated welcome to YWS! I thought I'd pop in on this work, because it's not so common to get such dedicated writers who keep posting ...

Hi there! I've got another late review for you. :) The first thing I want to say is that I don't have much to say. At this stage I'm just ...

Hi there and welcome to YWS! It's great to see you're getting up and going so quickly. Welcome to your first review! Spelling and grammar: I'm afraid you need some ...

Hi there! I'm here for a quick review on your review :). First, looking at your format, you keep using the first person "I". This is usually frowned upon in ...

Hi there! Okay, a quick plot and character review for you. Plot: From the first chapter, everything started getting going very, very quickly. You might want to slow your plot ...

Hi there! I'm here for a quick review. I'll focus on the spelling and grammar, since you've had a couple of other analyses so far. Do I dare look behind ...

Hi there! I have a quick review for you. :) I found this light and witty with a lot of bounce in the rhythm. It has an almost nursery rhyme-like ...

Hi there! A quick review for you! :) I spotted numerous grammar errors throughout this piece, for example: “Will you always speak of truth.” Kal’s heart skipped “I shall sir.” ...

Hi there! I've got a quick review for you. I see you've had some other reviewers who got to most of your grammar problems, so I'll focus on the more ...