bElL3

I'm guessing you like the Avatar? I do too, so don't worry. I liked this alot. I felt like it should have been apart of the whole Avatar series. You're ...

I liked this overall, but there was that little beginning sentence that bothered me. "Curiously Timid" doesn't really fit here. I believe the person above me covered everything else but ...

the person above pretty much pointed everything out. I have to say I think you're very talented. You describe the dark very well. I like how this piece flows together, ...

Okay, I like this but I just have to point something out here. If we're viewing the story through the characters eyes, then we shouldn't be able to know what ...

I'm sorry, but I must agree with the person above me. I felt it was way too verbose and desciptive. I think you should consider a revision, just to tone ...

Okay, well, I'm not a poet, but I do enjoy to read it although I don't know all the basic mechanics. I have to say I liked this one very ...

“That makes absolutely no since, John. Umm... You mean 'absolutely no sense*' don't you? Other than that, great writing and even greater plot. Can't wait to see what happens next. ...

Okay, awesomeness, but I was wondering, since the title is "The Bolt" why not capitalize "Bolt" everytime you mention it since "the Bolt" is the subject and all? Overall, it's ...

"our dyfunctional families were our common enemy" I have no problem with this phrase, I was just thinking it might sound a little more...poetic or maye flow better if you ...

Instead of "dish-towel-smelling waitress" why not go for something along the lines of 'sour-smelling" or "unpleasntly perfumed". I loved the way the rest of it sounds, although that part and ...

I'm going to agree with those that said that "squished" is the wrong word. If I were you I would consider revising and checking your sentnce structure, but over all, ...