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"Blow out the candles, Yuki," [just need a space here] my mother spoke clam as usual. I sucked in a deep breath and blew. I glanced up and saw a ...

It was cold. It was far too cold to be outside. Instead of repeating It was twice, perhaps you could use a comma (,) or "period sequence" (...) to make ...

Your advice is well taken by this fellow learner. lol I really like your style of writing, by the way. It's amusing, to say the least. Having such little driving ...

That is, until that day. The day that everything went totally wrong. I like is, but 'That is, until that day.' doesn't work. To many 'that's in one short sentence. ...

Ah, the more I read the more interesting your story becomes! I spun around and saw a beautiful girl, about one year younger than me with short blonde hair and ...

“MOM! MOOOMMM! COME HERE! MOOOOMMMYYYY!” screeched the nine year old Jimena whom knelt on the sidewalk in front of her Manhattan home. While on the phone Mrs. Poleski tells us ...

Ooo... and it gets even better! "Ok, I get that whatever those where killed her parents, but now she ' s just scaring me. And I don't think they can ...

This is pretty much my first review of a story, so hopefully it isn't that bad. >P I had long black hair and deep blue eyes and I went from ...

I would have wanted to say Twilight once upon a time (so cliché! ew, romance!), but I decided to give the series another chance a few weeks ago and actually ...