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amniba

  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Alone Again

    I think you should try to remember, every poem should have a rhythm, so that it flows nicely, and you can find that rhythm by deleting unnecessary words. When you ...

    Aug 15, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: I am the Tornado

    _ I don't think that you should explain what a tornado is, but explain more of what the story is behind the tornado, personify,to make it like a human, with ...

    Aug 13, 2008
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Sergio's Promise short story

    this was a good story, with a great twist at the end. You could maybe add some details, Her mother brought her meals. I think you could expand on this, ...

    Aug 11, 2008
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: Rivan 1

    good job with the detail and developing your charactor, I look foward to reading more. “There’s a monster!” she was babbling, wringing her straggling hair. “A huge wolf, with terrible ...

    Aug 4, 2008


seeing this tag and going "oh what's this? :)" then getting slapped in the face with shady's good grammar is the worst thing that's ever happened to me
— SilverNight