ajruby12

Thanks for the ideas! I know the rhythm is a little off and I'll try and fix that..

Yeah, sorry about the editing. It wasn't intentional. (I'm blaming it on the computer..) Also, the line, "When the light fades in the night" is to say when the light ...

Well done, but the poem, to me, doesn't seem to paint a picture.. I don't really understand what you're trying to say, except a very confused point of view. But ...

Thank you! :) I'm working on it..

Thanks for the review! I'm still a learning poet, so I really appreciate constructive criticism.