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Re: I Need You To Write. - 10.
Good as usual Emma! Just like the Lauren mentioned though, it is a bit unrealistic, her blaming the passenger. Wouldn't she blame the driver instead??? *re-reads cliffhanger and sends evils ...
Feb 12, 2010 -
Re: I Need You To Write. - 9.
I'm still reading!! It's getting really good and I can't wait to read more. You do need to slow down a little though, like the others have mentioned; I always ...
Feb 2, 2010 -
Re: Monster
Hi Underwater! Overall, I thought that your story was very good. You got across the character's feelings really well. I think that instead of brackets you should use italics, it ...
Dec 27, 2009 -
Re: Star Force Chapter 1: Dreamer
Hi SwiftShadow! I agree with what the above poster said.Your characters don't have any feelings really, they're a bit robotic. I think you should show their feelings more because we ...
Aug 26, 2009 -
Re: Worst Book You've Ever Read
Pretty Crazy - I think the book you're talking about is 'Only you can save mankind' By Terry Pratchet (Did I spell his name right?) I really enjoyed it and-That's ...
Aug 25, 2009 -
Re: Missing - chapter 4
Hello again Lilicia! This is a brilliantly written piece and there's really not much I can criticise. There's just one thing that seemed a bit weird to me and maybe ...
Jul 31, 2009 -
Re: Upon Waking part 2
Hi. Again! :D So, there's not really much that I can point out that's bad about this piece. I was really looking forward to reading it mand you haven't dissapointed ...
Jul 31, 2009 -
Re: Missing - chapter 3
Hi! Again. So a few nitpicks before I rave about how brilliant you are :D So, capitals on Mummy. And you need to decide , like the person above the ...
Jul 15, 2009 -
Re: Missing (chapter two)
Well, After reading the first part, I really wanted to know what happened so i read this part. It fufilled my expectations and more! However, I agree with the above ...
Jul 15, 2009 -
Re: Missing
Hi Lilicia! So your story is really good. You definitely have talent. I just have one nitpick : Wherever you put 'Dad' or 'Daddy' you haven't' capitalised it so make ...
Jul 15, 2009 -
Re: Destiny
Hi Sapphirejay! So there's not really much to point out as Bondgirl pointed out all of the nitpicks. I like your plot; it has potential but I think that you ...
Jul 15, 2009 -
Re: The (True) Story of Hansel and Gretel : Intro
Like the others, i really like this idea, it's original. Even though it is short, I enjoyed it so please PM me when you post more of it. Well done ...
Jul 10, 2009 -
Re: Chapter 1 /The invasion
Hi RJ! The above poster handled the grammar problems etc so I'll focus on the plot itself. i really think that your story has potential and you build up the ...
Jul 6, 2009 -
Re: Upon Waking
Hi Faia! I'm here to review your work. The story itself and the plot is very good. you express your characters emotions really well which iss one thing i sometimes ...
Jun 29, 2009 -
Re: I Need You To Write. - 7.
Hi EmmaJane! As always your story is brilliant and although i agree with what the above posters said, i think that having Amelia's normal life in the story helps me ...
Jun 16, 2009
