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afeefah

  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: I Need You To Write. - 10.

    Good as usual Emma! Just like the Lauren mentioned though, it is a bit unrealistic, her blaming the passenger. Wouldn't she blame the driver instead??? *re-reads cliffhanger and sends evils ...

    Feb 12, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: I Need You To Write. - 9.

    I'm still reading!! It's getting really good and I can't wait to read more. You do need to slow down a little though, like the others have mentioned; I always ...

    Feb 2, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Monster

    Hi Underwater! Overall, I thought that your story was very good. You got across the character's feelings really well. I think that instead of brackets you should use italics, it ...

    Dec 27, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Star Force Chapter 1: Dreamer

    Hi SwiftShadow! I agree with what the above poster said.Your characters don't have any feelings really, they're a bit robotic. I think you should show their feelings more because we ...

    Aug 26, 2009
  • Article / Essay » Review, General Re: Worst Book You've Ever Read

    Pretty Crazy - I think the book you're talking about is 'Only you can save mankind' By Terry Pratchet (Did I spell his name right?) I really enjoyed it and-That's ...

    Aug 25, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Missing - chapter 4

    Hello again Lilicia! This is a brilliantly written piece and there's really not much I can criticise. There's just one thing that seemed a bit weird to me and maybe ...

    Jul 31, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: Upon Waking part 2

    Hi. Again! :D So, there's not really much that I can point out that's bad about this piece. I was really looking forward to reading it mand you haven't dissapointed ...

    Jul 31, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Missing - chapter 3

    Hi! Again. So a few nitpicks before I rave about how brilliant you are :D So, capitals on Mummy. And you need to decide , like the person above the ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Missing (chapter two)

    Well, After reading the first part, I really wanted to know what happened so i read this part. It fufilled my expectations and more! However, I agree with the above ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Missing

    Hi Lilicia! So your story is really good. You definitely have talent. I just have one nitpick : Wherever you put 'Dad' or 'Daddy' you haven't' capitalised it so make ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, General Re: Destiny

    Hi Sapphirejay! So there's not really much to point out as Bondgirl pointed out all of the nitpicks. I like your plot; it has potential but I think that you ...

    Jul 15, 2009
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The (True) Story of Hansel and Gretel : Intro

    Like the others, i really like this idea, it's original. Even though it is short, I enjoyed it so please PM me when you post more of it. Well done ...

    Jul 10, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: Chapter 1 /The invasion

    Hi RJ! The above poster handled the grammar problems etc so I'll focus on the plot itself. i really think that your story has potential and you build up the ...

    Jul 6, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, General Re: Upon Waking

    Hi Faia! I'm here to review your work. The story itself and the plot is very good. you express your characters emotions really well which iss one thing i sometimes ...

    Jun 29, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: I Need You To Write. - 7.

    Hi EmmaJane! As always your story is brilliant and although i agree with what the above posters said, i think that having Amelia's normal life in the story helps me ...

    Jun 16, 2009


Writing is the geometry of the soul.
— Plato