aeroman

All right, I'm starting from where I left off. Right after Danteel revealed to Lark Erabon that he needed him to 'owe him' The light was better here, but just ...

Hey, Gyr! Avarice Something I noticed from the first section I read. The ship is called the 'avarice.' Interesting choice of name because avarice means greed. Maybe that is foreshadowing ...

So, you could, indeed, think that the person was boy, and really was gay. If it helps you put yourself in the narrator's shoes more easily. (notice how you're the ...

Yeah, I will give it a thorough look through if you need me to. I probably won't be able to for a week though. I'm leaving on a week long ...

Hey Gyr! I'm so so so so sorry for being late in this critique. I will get to Chapter 7 asap. I have been very sick of late with the ...

Hey! No problem, glad I could help. Um sure, that would work I think. You really need to portray the storyteller's masterful storytelling skills in how he's telling it. (I'm ...

Chapter 5 Critique Blue Italics = Comments on Quotes Red = Thoughts While Reading He paused when he was a few feet away and waited for the other students to ...

Thank you so much to all who have critiqued. All of your criticism has been noted and I will be doing another mass edit of Ch. 1 this weekend. Hopefully ...

Yea! I'm here Gyr, I will look over the changes. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The campus was huge, even after years as its headmaster, Tavrinal

Wow wow wow! Thanks for all the replies guys! Especially you Shafter! I love you! lol, I really needed that critique to fix all that junk. It will help me ...

Grif: As you already know, I value your opinion very highly (it helps me keep focused on the important stuff in the story). Thank you for all your suggestions, they ...

Zion: Hey thanks for catching all that stuff! It has really helped me edit it and make it better! I will critique yours asap. ~Aero

Hey Gyr! Well I've really been looking forward to this chapter, I liked it a lot! But anyways here is my critique! Blue Italics= comments on quotes Red= thoughts while ...

Myth! Thanks for the critique! You're one of my favorite critiquers and I always look forward to your posts when you read my stuff. About the 'hardship' thing. It actually ...

Incan~ Hey thanks man for coming and critiquing, I appreciate your opinion! I will definitely look over the tempo or pace of the piece and see what things take away ...