_fallingstar_

The rythym of it makes it feel like it should be a poem, not dialouge. It intrests me though... I want to know more about this character and how her ...

It's good, but a little short. You could increase the sense of urgency or fear (depending on which one Simba has more of at the moment) by drawing out the ...

This story is very interesting... but confusing. It took Regan two days to find clues about her mother? What happened in those two days? The way the action flows (using ...

...Wow. I agree with the above; even though I'm a newbie around here, I've hung around for a while, and most of the Harry Potter fictions should be double-locked in ...