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Re: The Pain-Chapter 4&5 *REVISED*
“I have raised you since you were only ten years and I thought I had taught you well! Why do you choose to turn on me now?” Ten years... old? ...
Apr 14, 2010 -
Re: The Pain-Chapter 3 *REVISED*
“No, no, this will never do!” the seamstress, Annaliza , cried, throwing her hands up in disgust. I don't like how this is set up, but it's technically correct. In ...
Apr 14, 2010 -
Re: Can You See Me? (Chapter Three)
Christmas, birthdays, Easter, they’re all celebrations (;) not funerals. Semi-colon misuse. That needs to be a dash, preferably. It was a warm Spring day in the beginning of June, and ...
Apr 14, 2010 -
Re: Can You See Me? (Chapter Two ~ Part two)
I felt as though I was having some terrible nightmare (;) where my heart would come spilling out of my chest at any moment. Semi-colon misuse resulting in a fragment ...
Apr 14, 2010 -
Re: Can You See Me? (Chapter Two)
Again, just posting what I noticed. “I’m so right, aren’t I?” He said, nodding at me. That "H" in "He" should be lower-case. “Is there something you’d like to share ...
Apr 14, 2010 -
Re: Can you see me? (Prologue)
I haven't rooted through the reviews above; I'll just post what I found. I didn’t know that she was my sister at first, I didn’t even know where she’d come ...
Apr 14, 2010
