Xreigon

I think that this was pretty good. I didn't catch any little grammer or punctuation mistakes (a first for me), but I do think that maybe Mace Windu's character is ...

Well, this was pretty good. I do have a few things that I think could make it better, though. First, I do agree with you in the sense that I ...

So, a Twilight story. Hmmm. I didn't make it past the first one, so...yeah. But, from what I heard the story seems pretty accurate. There really isn't very many comments ...

That was pretty good. I enjoyed it alot. I had to read through it a few time to get the story, because it confused me a little bit. But I ...

I really enjoyed it, even if it was a littl elike we jumped in at the middle. I can only find two nit-picks and that is when you said, "You ...

I agree with scifyfantacywriter01. It could use some more details about the kind of stuff that you don't even think about. The problem is that you know your character inside ...

Hhmmm. I liked it, but I do think that your rhyming didn't quite work. Was it just an accident that you would sometimes rhyme? That threw me a little bit. ...

Ok. I'm not trying to burst your bubble or anything, but you need some serious help with grammer and format. First, after one person says something, when someone else says ...

That was pretty good. It left me hanging and wanting to find out what is going to happen next. I think that you might be able to make it a ...

I can't really nit-pick very much, because I didn't find anything that was really all that bad. It is a very good poem and I enjoyed reading it. Your portrayal ...

That is really nice. I enjoyed reading it. It gives an interesting perspective on relationships and love in general. I have one comment though and one thing that I found ...

OOOOOH! That was pretty cool. I am excited to see what happens. I would say that when it say "The hana, a magic button-like thing," it sounds a little awkward. ...

Wow. That was quite good. I love the way that this poem makes me think. there are so many ways interpretations that could come of this. The way that I ...

I have one little nit-pick that the others didn't mention. In the first sentence, it says "I opened my eyes only to shut them tight." You need a comma in ...

Wow. I really enjoyed that. It makes me very interested in finding out more about your characters and your plot. Who is the Order? When does this story take place? ...