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Re: Chapter One revised (it's pretty much the same though)
I like it, I read your prologue awhile ago( don't remember if I critiqued it or not). I can't remember if you described Ashlee or not, but if you didn't ...
Mar 10, 2005 -
Re: My Master, my Lover.
I love it! Now let's see if I can get some critique in *browses story* [ quote]You: She felt her green eyes go wide with chagrin and she looked quickly ...
Mar 6, 2005 -
Re: Prologue to "Guiding of the Lost Souls"
Hey, first, welcome to YWS! :twisted: Are you Kayla from RK? Anyway here's my criitque: I like it but I don't think the conclusion is strong enough. Also: 'The fog ...
Mar 3, 2005 -
Re: The World's First Ostrich (written in 2002)
I like your story :D anywya, latero n in the story(around the part where Chirp meets Mr.Wizard, try to make the dialogue more interesting. Bye. Gotta go to school.
Mar 2, 2005 -
Re: For my Father on his Birthday
I can't write poems at all! My favorite line is this one: 'Black bird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn [to]fly... 'Velvet voice filling ...
Mar 1, 2005 -
Re: Hourglass- no prior reading required :)
I like it but like everyone else I got confused whether they were talking or what. Good job though. :wink: :wink:
Feb 21, 2005 -
Re: Morning
I like it but I have to agree with Lin Night. Maybe you could make the POV a teenager's- it would probaly sound better and make her childrens her siblings ...
Feb 21, 2005