Published February 13, 2005
I liked it. You write really well. I just didn't understand it that well, and in the second paragraph I didn't know whether they were speaking or thinking or whatever. Otherwise I'd really want to read more of this. 
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141,418 Literary Works • 674,396 Reviews
italics would've cleared up any questions i had....amazing, as usual
Yeah I agree with Emma very good!
It is really good, there is alot of description, keep it up!
I like it but like everyone else I got confused whether they were talking or what. Good job though.
Nice... I enjoyed this there should be a lot more though. you can add on a lot of stuff.
PS willow, love your picture... I love cats.. Meow
I love this!, is this sopposed ot be before the other one you wrote? or visa versa? anyway you have really good imagry in this, you can clearly see everything thats happening. But I was a little confused about who was talking at the store, his brother or him.
And the last part I couldn't unterstand if they were talking or thinking or something else. But I really like this, write more!
I like it.
but I have no critique, because there's nothing to critique. I have a question:
Sure.I’ll ask. I reply, quickly covering the corner of the slate with my hand as Master Verplanck walks by, mercilessly inspecting our arithmetic work to see if indeed we were paying attention. Which we weren’t.
So what happens next? sorry, that was crappy. *sighs* you just write so well, you make it hard to crit!
Oh...he he. I had it italicized in Word, but it didn't transfer...they're supposed to be like passing notes.