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Re: Rise Again - Chapter 2 - Full
I like her name. Vaera just looks so much cooler than plain old 'Vera'. Anywho... I'm back! First things first, I caught a huge typo. In one of the first ...
Feb 8, 2014 -
Re: Heroes - Chapter 2 - Part 1
Yay! You kept going! Thanks for telling me, Scoeri! Anyways, onwards and upwards! First off, grammar: Awesome job mixing up your structures and incorporating structures similar to Old English. Very ...
Feb 4, 2014 -
Re: All This Time, Chapter 2
Yes! A novel about a band person! This makes me so happy; you don't even know. Not to mention he's a trombone player! Oh my gosh, I could just gush ...
Feb 1, 2014 -
Re: Heroes
Hello! Welcome to YWS! So, I'll get right on to business. Grammar-wise, there are a few slip-ups with missing punctuation, awkward quotation marks and an obvious typo in the second ...
Jan 31, 2014 -
Re: Waterfall Page 2 Part 1
Hello there! I know it's late, but welcome to YWS! So, first things first: I think you could get away with making each part longer. Mine usually run between 1000 ...
Jan 30, 2014 -
Re: Machine City Chapter 2 Part 4
Um... This is really short... Oh well. I'm back! That first line is so so so cool. I loved it. Anyway, I should have mentioned this earlier, but you aren't ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: Machine City Chapter 2 Part 3
Back again! I guess everyone's on a reviewing spree today, huh? That includes me! Anways, down to business. Grammar: Only one major thing, in paragraph 2, you misspelled and capitalized ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: Machine City Chapter 2 Part 2
Heya! I'm back! I read through the other parts, and I still think you could get away with making them longer. Maybe split the chapters into 2 parts instead of ...
Jan 26, 2014 -
Re: Machine City Chapter 1 Part 1
I'm back, and I see that this is re-write, no? I didn't read the original, so I don't have a basis for comparison, but here we go: One grammar point, ...
Jan 25, 2014 -
Re: Machine City Prologue
Hello! Buggiedude here to review! I didn't read the actual chapters, so please bear with me. The only grammar issues I found are that you slip between verb tenses a ...
Jan 25, 2014 -
Re: Princesses Anonymous
What a joy! It's been a while since I read a humorous piece on fairy tales. (Not since a real-life friend wrote some smart-mouthed essay on them) That last line ...
Jan 25, 2014 -
Re: Adventures with My Time-Traveling Uncle - Chapter One
Woo! Hello, and welcome to YWS! I'll start things off with the technical and boring stuff that involves knowing English lit. vocab, and then work my way through to opinions ...
Jan 22, 2014 -
Re: Chatroom Encounters: Chapter 1
Hello! I'm here to review! Okie dokie, I think that since this is the first time we actually see the titles, you should actually have them written out instead of ...
Jan 20, 2014 -
Re: Flitchling Chapter 5
Ooh! I've been waiting for this! Very nice over all, and no clean-up issues as far as I know. I think just a touch more sensory detail is in order, ...
Jan 20, 2014 -
Re: Chapter Sample - Shadowdale
Piper sounds just as clueless as some of my characters. I love her already! So, I haven't read the other parts of Shadowdale, but the characters and their relationships are ...
Jan 19, 2014
