Vasticity

Capturing!! Personally, I think it should be turned into a movie and made longer than Nineteen minutes. A lot of action in this one little piece, so, if it were ...

Very dark... I like it! Just a few minor spelling issues.. she doesnt care Doesn't, is how it's spelled. you cry you're self to sleep You're self should be yourself ...

Nice job! You have a very absorbing and original plot. I actually think it would do well as a movie, to be honest. And I do agree with Napalmerski on ...

Hmm.. interesting. There are a few things wrong with it, though. Here they are. Student one: A lo-cal hist-or-y thing is this used in a certain tone? You have to ...

Ok... you won your dare, that's for dang sure. I like it. You are very articulate, and you set your characters and plot nicely. However... your plot makes no sense. ...

I'm not quite sure what you're writing, but I think it would be appropriate for a Monty Python sketch, or something on Family Guy. It makes no sense. I like ...

I'm going to be very harsh here... and I'm sorry for this... it was pretty bad. You don't use punctuation, you don't capatalize, LOTS of spelling errors. There are plotholes, ...

I like this work, but you don't capatilize each beginning line, and you don't use punctuations, just like Mizzle made clear. :( Also, there were a few places where it ...

Well, you have the talent. Keep writing. You use a lot of detail and description, so I can actually see the place that you're writing about, which is a flaw ...

wow. Wow, just... wow. This is exceedingly heartfelt and better than most of the books that i've read or written. I am, as of this moment, resisting the urge to ...

Kill him. Punch him. Stab him in the right eye with a 12cm serrated butchers knife, the kind mum used to slice everything. Grab the bat, hit him down again ...

This is a good book, but there are areas that you can improve. First of all, “You’re late, as usual,” irrelevant. Get rid of it. Second of all, I liked ...

First of all, well done. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Expand the story, and reveal your characters, and I'll be very entertained. Well done. Keep writing. :elephant:

Welcome to YWS, and 2nd, I like your story. You have a very intuitive writing style, and you really bring your readers into the story. At least you did to ...

Good Job! You certainly put your rhymes into place. But.... some of them didn't rhyme....:evil: but no big deal. This is certainly a good script, although, I don't really feel ...