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Re: Awakening, and the rest of the story
Wow! I'm very impressed. I read as much as I could, but I started skimming after a while. NOT TO SAY it's boring or anything! Promise! :D But I am ...
Oct 7, 2008 -
Re: The Princess and the Mouse
I did like it, but there were some things that really bothered me. For example, you use her name WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to much! Consider adding 'she and 'her'. People won't find ...
Oct 7, 2008 -
Re: Don't Forget
It's really good and I agree- I'd love to hear it actually sung. I like the meaning behind it and what you're trying to say. Maybe you could have added ...
Oct 6, 2008 -
Re: Poisoned Roses--Chapter 1
I liked it. Sorry, but I have to agree with everyone else. It does remind me of Twilight, but why is that so important. Unless it's the exact same thing, ...
Oct 6, 2008 -
Re: Hellfire
As usual, good job! ^_^ Great details and I really like where this is heading! (Partially because I already know where this is leading, lol) Anyway, there isn't much to ...
Oct 6, 2008 -
Re: She Said [oneshot]
The wind sung the door shut, and in the brief moment the thunder didn’t crash, she was able to stand and lock the door securely. I think you meant to ...
Oct 6, 2008 -
Re: The Werewolf's Bite
WOW!!!!!! I HAVE TO AGREE WITH EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS! IT'S REALLY SOMETHING! I LOVE THE USE OF WORD CHOICE AND ALSO THE GREAT DETAILS. There were a few mistakes, ...
Oct 6, 2008 -
Re: wings and fangs
“mama, papa, Ryoko?” she called, looking around the house. Capitalize mama “Where is everyone?” she closed the door behind her and leaped of the 3 steps from the small stairs ...
Oct 5, 2008 -
Re: Tainted Blood Ch.2 Part 1
She finally spoke, "I was going to tell you about it on your eighteen birthday, so you could decide what you wanted. Eighteenth I like where this is leading up ...
Oct 5, 2008 -
Re: Tainted Blood Ch.1 part 3
I poked at my pizza, Alexis noticed. "Hey are you going to eat that pizza, if you don't I do. Pizza is my favorite food," she rubbed her stomach as ...
Oct 5, 2008 -
Re: Tainted Blood Ch.1 Part 2
I picked up a brush, and ran it through my shoulder length hair wincing every time I hit a knot. Comma between 'hair' and 'wincing' Grabbing my car keys and ...
Oct 5, 2008 -
Re: Demon Hunter- The Beginning
She stared at as if she was lost in thought I think you forgot the 'it', lol. Otherwise, it looks really good. The ending was kinda............idk, but it wasn't the ...
Oct 4, 2008