UFO

Thanks! I'm working on the info dumps. It's a nasty habit and something I've struggled with. I'm glad that people are willing to point it out :) As for the ...

Thanks! And yeah I agree with you on the information dumps. I have a nasty habit of that. I'll take a look at punctuation and grammar. I just save editing ...

Sure thing. Actually, the tense changes are leftovers from a re-write I did from a present tense to a past tense and I just missed a few. haha charade was ...

That's cool. I'm all for holding off details and letting my readers figure it out for themselves, so I'm not one to tell you that you MUST include details. Just ...

Great :) My Internet has been down for like a friggin month so I didnt get back to this. I would make a good response but I'm On an iPod ...

No problems, I was thinking mostly what you just said. The only problem I have with ditching the introduction is ditching my first sentence. As first sentences go, its like ...

I appreciate the review. I'd like to ask a couple follow up questions that you can answer if you wish. I can agree with a lot of what you said ...

The chapter is broken down into 5 pieces, this is 1 of 5. Gotta read part 2 to find out :)

This is good, and well written, though I have a few nit-picky things here and there. There are a ton of run-on sentences. Go back through and fine comb the ...

Nice way of getting review points there lol.

:) The way I use this template is piece by piece. I fill in the details for the first few sections, then after that I leave things blank. I fill ...

Appreciate the review :) Like I've posted before, the myself, me, my's etc; all in the first person were a major accident. The original was written in the first, but ...

I went back over it. It's odd really. The only time I capitalized the following ____ said after a piece of dialogue was only when it was the word "he". ...

Ok, new style doesn't allow red. Changes in BOLD