Trident

Part II Marie awoke to the sound of burning logs and the smell of sweat. She was laying on an old couch with a fireplace in front of her, its ...

Thanks everyone. I should have part two up soon if I can ever get myself off the Internet and actually start writing! And DD, your post left me... well, speechless. ...

I got around to reading the first two chapters, Brad, but I don't have time to crit them. Sorry. I'll try to do that when I have more time.

Jeeseble-- You're just going to have to go in and put spaces between the paragraphs. That's the best way to make it easier to read.

Yes, fastbreaks was just my neologism for breakfast. Does it sound too out there? Thanks Cass!

He was in a prison facility. An especially angry-looking man stood over him. Maurice realized he was in the Piano Room. “Where’s the last sample?” the man asked. He would ...

Thanks a ton all. :D Green: You read it from the first and continued on. Thanks for your perseverance. Cameron: Thank you as well for your comments. Jenna: I really ...

Haha-- Incan, I think I'm going to write more poetry just so I can hear some more of those nice quips. Then again, I suppose I don't have to write ...

Erm... no offensive or anything, but I wasn't a big fan of this poem. It felt like you tried to incorporate too many different... flavors? It left me feeling as ...

Erm... isn't that part of the poem? If not, my apologies. But you use the bold type later so... Anyway, I thought this was very graphic, in a good way. ...

The brides were previosuly buried, yes, but ancient cultures often dug up graves of the family members (especially spouses) of important rulers and reburied them with the ruler. I suppose ...

Chapter C1 It was a storage home for death. Large pick-shaped blades, deep-gouging spiked barbs, ragged teethed saws, and several chains linking one tool to another. They littered the aged ...

I found this appealing, gummy. I'm not sure if "Minha" has any significance to it, but the title was a nice one to fit the ending.

I am sorry Lycan if you thought my critique was mean. Perhaps it was. I don't typically look at the age of who I am critiquing, and truthfully, it shouldn't ...

Parts III & IV VICTIM-- A harsh shrieking. He slammed his fist into the alarm clock. Nine minutes passed. A harsh shrieking. He threw the damn thing across the room. ...