Trident

Hi ireylcadence, I'll give this a go here. I do not remember how I came hence Into this pitted earth--entrenched And caked in dust revered as bones That first line ...

Hi ultraviolet, it's been awhile since I've been to YWS, so forgive me if my critting is a little rusty. Firstly, your title is really what grabbed me, so kudos ...

Hi torigirl. The first thing I noticed was the rhyme scheme, which was pretty good, but I suggest getting rid of it all together. I'm not sure rhyming your lines ...

Hey Kylan! It's been a long time. Anyway, here's my take, though I'm afraid I'm keeping this a bit brief. I was going to comment first on your POV in ...

Hi Bickazer, hopefully I can give you something to help with your style. I tend to stay away from grammar stuff anyway as I figure the author can do this ...

Hi Jon, it's really been quite a while since I've done a proper critique, so we'll see how this goes. I hope you'll value my advice. The sky was brimming ...

Hi fantasyfreak14, Though I think the topic of marriage you have chosen to address is worthy, it is quite a task, maybe one that you should think about avoiding. While ...

Hi afterthought, I would start off saying that your first line is gorgeous. Get rid of "Where to begin?" I like the extended metaphor that you have in the first ...

Hi kissthewitch. Your name reminds me of a QOTSA song called "Burn the Witch", but I guess it's the exact opposite in this case. XD I thought the beginning line ...

Hi there, Firstly, your title is wonderful and it actually attracted me to click on your piece. A small suggestion? Change "even" to "ever". I think it adds not only ...

Hi oboemagic, Interesting stuff here. You have some powerful assonance in the first stanza, and I really like how you have the sound of "moor/mour-/more" in the second. However, I ...

Well, the first thing I have to say is that it does seem rather experimental. Almost poetic in a way I suppose you could say. I think it seems that ...

Austin was washing his hands. A steady stream of lukewarm water enveloped them in a frothy whiteness [too many adjectives] as he [s]harshly[/s] rubbed the inside of his palms. The ...

Marie Clare always enjoyed her coffee early in the morning brewed to perfection. Exactly two spoonfuls of sugar, a dash of cream, and a sprinkling of cinnamon always [s]tickled her ...

‘Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.’ – Mohandas Karamchad Gandhi Drych-ddelwedd There was a tiny hole in the curtain in front of me. ...