Titch123

Good start, I really enjoyed it (I'm a huge vampire fan) I agree with a lot of what *coco has said so I'm not gonna go in to details; you ...

Interesting start and i like the diary format but you've got to think where is this story going, its really easy to start like you have in quite a negative ...

Don't be so hard on yourself, it is a good story I enjoyed it. The strength of it is in your understanding of dialogue, and that really brings the story ...

I enjoyed this start but you really need to read your work through after you've written it because in places there are spelling mistakes and words missed out which make ...

Hi, There's some really good bits of that story, it definitely shows promise and now your older I'm gonna be interested in reading some of your newer work. The reason ...

Hi, really good start and if you can develop it along the same lines I think it will become a very strong short story. You've created a brilliant clear narrative ...

Hey that was a good start and i'll be intrigued to see where it goes, just a couple of points i pick up on, but nothing major: "Hello, you must ...

Hi Again i really enjoyed reading this!! I disagree with jsull60880 tbh i like the formal narration (sorry jsull60880) i think it gives the story a lovely tone! I picked ...

Very Good Story really enjoyed reading it and i going to go on and read the next two chapters in a second. I just wanted to mention a couple of ...

Hi, Really good start enjoyed the story and would like to read more just a couple of things i picked up on: For the (night-time) fixtures, floodlights would illuminate the ...

Its a good start but really it needs expanding alot, its much to short. I'm sorry to go over that point again coz i think every one has. I just ...

Hi I really enjoyed reading this and i thought it was a great idea for a layout, very unusual but works really well i just picked up on a couple ...

I think this is a really interesting concept for a story and would be interested to see how it progresses if you decide to run with it. Just a couple ...

Hi well done its a good chapter again. Just A couple of really small things i picked up on "I was awake and listening the night that stranger came to ...

hello again 3rd post in like 15mins lol but still very good, please PM me when more is written- i really need to know what happened that night so long ...