Tifa13

Ok, it moved extremely quick again. For instance, the dream was ok but when she went to go outside to throw up, it was kind of like it skipped something. ...

It's really good but the flow of it moves a little quick. To me, it kind of jumped around though it was good in description. There were a few things ...

They was four dollars and seventeen cents. Ok, it was an amazing story but the only thing that irritates the crap out of me is 'they'. It should be 'there'. ...

I have an idea of the metaphor. I've thought it over and I think, is it someone getting older and older as they live then finally death calls them and ...

One thing I want to know is what does Matt look like? You start with foggy detail, to me anyway -I like detail-, and don't even describe him. I don't ...

It was an excellent second chapter and I'm relieved that this one did not move as fast as the first chapter did but you do need to edit alot. It ...

That was excellent. It had a good story-line and a firm idea. I like the whole concept of the them but it was a little vague. There were typos but ...