TheEstimableEelz

This was somewhat cool. This is a very, very simple poem, and that's good! I can see this being published in some good book of poems for children. You have ...

Certainly a good base for construction. Pronoun trouble: most of the pronouns I found very difficult to conclusively link back to a noun or nouns. Clarity is really hurt; also, ...

Well, the poem itself is certainly (de)composed well. Some quick notes on things that jumped out: - "much" in the second line does not particularly work; grammatically it is fine, ...

'spolding' ... might as well have said 'smouldering,' ya know, or 'smoulding' if you were determined to have the fake word. Okay poem otherwise. A few things jumped out as ...

Lovely. The comma in the third line needs to go, methinks. But otherwise I whole-heartedly approve of the addition of punctuation. Although a piece so much about flow might well ...

This was fairly nice, but not perfect. Okay, review time. The extension of his arm split the air in two, filling itself with a lot less than that of pride. ...

Nice. First off, grammar slips are plentiful throughout, and they really distracted me from reading what is an otherwise gorgeously-constructed piece. Go through and seek them out, eliminate them, and

This was neat. The title is a bit too serious for my tastes, considering your tone and subject matter. But, I can't think of many silly ways to say "Silent ...

Good-looking poem. Now first thing, I don't think you needed an explanation at all down there after the poem, and certainly not such a detailed one. We readers appreciate figuring ...

I enjoyed this poem. Rhyme/repetition, as well as simplicity, in the first stanza really brought the reader into the idea-world of this leaky/flawed faucet. Second stanza, I do feel the ...

Cool piece. Quick review from TheEstimableEelz incoming. Your idea is good, nothing special - but you make it great with the words you use to back it up in writing. ...

Thoroughly enjoyable. Amazing tone work - it portrayed serious bits when it had to, but man does it sounds Seuss-ian (major compliment, in case that was unclear)! That said, the ...

Well, that was nice. I must admit, the title is misleading. It led me very much to believe that some literal game would be occurring. Not that what you actually ...

Whee!- another pretty poem by Persy. :) Gonna try to give a legitimate review here, so... here goes. The weakest bit of this was the choice of line breaks. Thoughts ...

Well, this was fun. DEATH speaking about death... great topic. And you pulled it off fairly well. DEATH here has a consistent tone very similar to things I have read ...