TheEccentricScribe

Have you ever read Clive Barker's Weave World? You should, if you haven't, simply because it is wonderful. Also, the beginning of it reminds me of yours, not in any ...

I liked this. The writing was nice, not adorned, straightforward and relatively believable as a first-person narrative. It's difficult to find much to comment on because I can't see the ...

Nice start. Didn't notice many problems, except for one paragraph: The students were instructed to sit by homerooms. Kerry pulled out her schedule, looking for the name. It was Clark. ...

I will honestly say that this was a painless read. That is a pretty big compliment from me. I don't like the irksome feeling I get from bad prose, and ...

So, first, the positives. On the one hand, you are good at not going into info dump mode. My style of writing tends to blithely ignore the anti-info-dump age we ...

I like Utopias. By nature they are dystopian. I suggest reading "Utopia," by Thomas Moore, "Dinotopia," and "Those Who Walk Away from Omelas," a short story by Ursula Le Guin. ...

I think I like this. I like how you turn things on its head a bit: Adam has the apple first, instead of the girl . . . Who isn't ...

This is a very personal topic, so please forgive me if I am a little critical. I like this, I just think it needs a makeover. First of all, love ...

Intersting . . . Very different, very different indeed. Beginning the story this way has got me eager to find out answers to all sorts of questions; who are her ...

My friend, you have commited one of the biggest literary no-nos. You bounce between the present and the past tense. Ouch. Do not do that. Please. Trust me here. Going ...

Very interesting, largely good writing here. Law, huh? Very nice. I briefly considered going in to law, then realized I'm too much of a softie for the profession. Going to ...

Awww... What a rotten father.... Reminds me of someone in my family... I feel so bad for the boy! This is very well written. There are some things I'd like ...

I found this very entertaining. It was a very unique premise, and has loads of potential for humor. I noticed a few minor grammatical mistakes: "Wait - did your Organizer ...

As you know, poetry is not my area, so I am a poor critique when it comes to matters of style in the genre. As far as content goes, I ...

This needs a lot of work, if you want it to amount to anything. There's places where you confuse "there" and "their," and spots where you use "it's" where you ...