TheBlueStreak

Well, a little shorter than the first... I'll get the formalities out of the way: it went too fast. Now then, this really did leave me craving more details. If ...

Okay, first things first. As always it's too fast, but I'll chalk it up as style and not mention it again (here). In style, it flows; the tempo is quick, ...

Exellent, nothing popped out at me as being awkward or off-balance. I liked this a lot. You slowed it down enough to let it flow, but not too much. It ...

Hey, First, it needs to slow down a little. Even at your pace that was quick. I can see some style in this but it honestly moves too fast to ...

First, I liked it. All the mistakes I found were already mentioned, so I won't repeat them. I liked the walls pulsing part; I hadn't thought of living creatures as ...

Good job. I agree with the general sentiments above--fits great with the movies. I really liked the psychological simplicity of it all. Coupled with the mysteriousness of the ride, and ...

I had a hard time following who was who. Identify the characters and their names more. SeraphTree had good points about the logistics too. Otherwise it seemed sound to me, ...

Okay, a few issues. It seemed a little "cookie cut," too many similarlarities to HP I, but I think it kinda needed to have them given the subject matter--the train ...

Whoa! That really pulled me in. Again, the opus moved too fast, but (also again) there was some style present--not enough to warrant the pace you set, but it had ...

Hey Girl, I think I liked was a little...um...odd, maybe. However, shock aside, it was short and sweet (in an ironic sort of way). I enjoyed the suppense of the ...

Another great ending. On the whole your work improved since the first encounter we had with Sera and Thom. There are still some of the same issues, but now they're ...

Hey Man, I agree completely with Twit on all the technical issues, and with Amelia about the pronoun use, but otherwise I loved it. I'm not sure if it was ...

Hey Bear, Sorry, but it seemed quite stited in places, and a few typos really detracted from the overall impact. Conversely, I loved the premise. I would be very interested ...

Hey, Okay, I spoke too soon. This really completed the first part. Again, some minor technical issues and punctuation detract from the overall impact of the work, but not much. ...

Hey there, In short, I was enthralled. The beginning was a little confusing, but it served to keep my attention, and all questions were answered by the end. There were ...