Tenyo

Commence tearing. Let's start with the biggest issue: Repetition! Be wary of it. General nouns and verbs should preferably be used only once per paragraph. In the first paragraph you've ...

Hey Drifter I see you're new! I'm going to say one huge thing about this piece. Fix iiitt! You have many 'I's that aren't capitalised, and many lines that just ...

Hey Ithy! I will confess to not having read chapter one, so let me know if you want me to read and review that one. As for chapter two, here's ...

I love it! I'm naturally overly critical, but I read this from beginning to end without at all thinking 'don't do this' or 'that's wrong.' I loved the voice of ...

Hey Emmy! This is sweet, I kind of like the way the thoughts seem to be piled together with little structure. At first I was a little unsure of it, ...

Chapter Four: I dislike romances, they bug me, especially teenage romances. I will admit once, and only once (even if it's in writing) that I genuinely like this one. So, ...

Chapter Two: Ok is not okay (I had to research that one a little.) Abbreviations are dodgy little things to use. Half of the time we don't even realise we're ...

Hey there! I'm here to review your novel, starting here with the prologue. I found this really, really hard to read, in all honesty. There's a few things that need ...

I'm not here to critique, I just want to say how awesome this poem is :) Poetry these days is becoming quite bland, because it's all about misery or shock, ...

Review Part Nine! Language 'I only inquired what you were doing' is waay too formal to be using in an every day home setting. In using a sophisticated form of ...

Review Part Eight! Again I like this chapter better than the earlier ones. I think you may be better at writing drama rather than action. This one was quite nice ...

Review part seven. I have a massive request. Please, please remove the line 'You can't imagine what I feel.' It's something a grouchy teenager, or some other immature person would ...

Review Part Six! I love the opening of this chapter. The last few were quite action backed and there was a lot of blood and pain mentioned. The sudden change ...

Review Part Four and Five. Fear: Bird people aren't scared of falling, they've got wings to make sure they don't. The phrase 'a gut-wrenching fall rushed up to her face,' ...

Review part three! (I'll call it part three even though it's only part two, because otherwise I'll get confused .) Viewpoint. You can either tell the story sitting at your ...