Tara

I'd like to start by saying this story grabbed me straight from the get-go. The opening sentence is very strong- an attention getter. I like how you take time to ...

It's a very good start. I like the description, and nice use of metaphors. I just have a few critiques My heart has broken into a million pieces in which ...

The imagery was absoluetly amazing! This was my favorite part: Dipping our fingers into inky dyes, we trace the labyrinth that interlaces our pot-marked façade. Incredible use of metaphorical descrip

Awesome poem :D. There's something about it I really like. However, the lines "with reality I toy" and "what'll be the end of the run sound a bit odd. The ...

Seems like a great start to me. The only suggestion I have to make is that I noticed you used 'third' to describe both how many times Mike said, "That ...

Tom rode back. He jumped off Clerriek, and landed sending pain shooting up his leg. He looked around, and saw the woman. He walked to her. “Can I help in ...

It's always hard to critique song lyrics, because you don't know how the song goes, and alot of times things have to be written the way they are to fit ...

I have to say, Jack, I got chills reading this, especially the last line. It was beautifully written. The only thing I'd say is in the last stanza, I'd change ...

The stars were bright. The sky, a liquid jet black color, that made me kind of twitch at its perfection, crashed in on us and smothered us in her cloying ...

The campsite where Yunero had his last roasted deer. incomplete sentence arvy. Is that picking up where you left off from another sentence? if not, it sounds a bit strange.... ...

I'll post a 'fuller' review later...now I'm completely in another world and have no idea wut I'm saying. I read it, and liked it. It actually held my attention...which most ...

There's a truly original idea, a poem from the point of Lenore, instead of about her. I oftened wondered who she was, but in none of his biographies could I ...

Crystalia leaned breathlessly against the cool stone wall lining the inner court of the castle. Just a little closer, she thought. Should 'just a little closer' be italicised? She could ...

This was utterly amazing. You could easily have this published! I have a few things to say...but not much... Her super voluptuous body and her emanating erogenous scents, oh how ...

=D> This is wonderfull, Willow! I can't wait for the next part! the only thing I would like to say is wouldn't 'loaves of bread' sound better than 'breads'? :wink: