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Re: Trigger: Intro
This a good short story, but it needs more details. Describe more about what he was feeling in that moment of witnessing his mom being murder. Also describe the setting ...
Aug 1, 2015 -
Re: 0 Prologue between the click of a light and the start of a dream
I like how you put it in a letter format. It's interesting to read, but I have to agree with Cody. You have to paint them a picture not tell ...
Jul 26, 2015 -
Re: Ruptured Mind 1.2 (Ever-changing Title)
It was good so far. I like the chapter already but the beginning with the scene of the girl. I felt like something was missing. I didn't feel that much ...
Jul 26, 2015 -
Re: Spring-Heel - Chapter 1, Part One
I like the character "Jack" and how you made me able to get a feel of who he is. Right now I got some feel who this guy is, because ...
Jul 26, 2015