TNOandXadric

Once again: The way you portray the warm climate to cold climate change is perfect, right down to the natives wearing shorts. You win cookies. Also again: You're still over-using ...

Firstly: I love your portrayal of Cali's newly relocated to colder climes. And hating snow. It's fun to mock people of this sort. Secondly: You may want to cut down ...

This day is a day i have prayed never to come. Dark clouds fill the sky making it at noon as black as midnight. The great world cities twist together ...

You infodumped quite a bit, about the New Year, the immortals and their purpose, Blood moon, the seal, Artemis and his origins, the narrator's family... None of it was necessary ...

Well, it's interesting. The dialogue was a bit stiff and awkward in places, and the characters could definitely use some fleshing out. There wasn't much of an emotional connection with ...

Generally, I like it. However, I agree with Zanna and Jetpack that you need to slow down and take some time to flesh out the characters, particularly in the first ...