Swires

Interesting thought track. “All right, kid?” asked the man on the corner. “Oh yes,” Abby shook her head. “I don’t like the dark.” WHy would she say she was alright ...

Nice story, the description at the beginning is good and you paced description with what the people were doing well. I think this line could be more: A small smile ...

This is the best installment so far, your writing has improved as you have worked through the saga. Some one told me about no chat speak in a story, i ...

What an improvement! :D Evil Armadda(SP?) 2 is much better written than the first. Youve slowed the pace slightly which is good. A few points: 1) Instead of saying "The ...

Well Ive been reading all your chapters of the story and I have to say its coming along swimmingly well. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and its very abstract. I ...

Nice story some good description. Nice, powerful ending. My only crit is that there were maybe a few cliches in there: Glistening mountains of crystal It just seems to be ...

First of all, welcome to the boards. You know that we as writers learn more from critiqueing others works as opposed to having our own work critiqued. Hope you have ...

Nice work, my attention was kept all through reading this. I think the last paragrapgh was good but it could have ended on a more powerful note. I dont know ...

Yes, paragraph and space! Its more clear and easier on the eyes when you do this. As for the story I found it just a tad too much dialogue that ...

Well we have a critique of a critiue of a critique of a story here. So Im just going to read it casually and post some general comments. Because thats ...

First of all is there any need for a prologue, id just call it "chapter 1" all this prologue nonsense just seems pointless, writers these days only seem to be ...