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Evil Armada (2)

by Killer-Ewok


This part of the story is mainly looking into the background of some of our characters.

(And im also sorry for the grammer, i couldnt sleep and im writing it a 3 in the morning :cry:

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As the lord army moved out onto the field, the dwarven king looked down from his tower, this castle was not of origonal desigh, but more like a massive tower, which had two grey smaller towers attached from the east and the west, with a titanic wall around it.

"Prepear the dwarves, we're gonna struggle to get outta this one" the dwarven kings vioce trailed off, he knew it was going to be a tough fight, he just didnt think it was going to be so soon.

the dwarves rushed there ammo to there defense equipment, through-out the land you could hear the loading of cannons and the roar of the orcs.

"you, come here, now, girl" the lord yelled out.

"I have a name" argued the cloaked women on the horse.

"I dont care, just get the job done, like we agreed" the lord contested

"Your lucky we want the same thing" she muttered as she rode of with a small unit of horsmen.

The field that the lay before the dwarven gate had turned much darker, the grass and tree's had started to die within a matter of minutes, and the lush lake that was filled with fish had dried out, he was tainting the land with his presence.

but the lord wasnt bothered on his army at that moment, he was worried about that pirate girl, Cytre.

Cytre galloped out from the side of the tainted field, untill she was out of view.

"May i ask were we are going" a pirate yelled out

"if you trust me then follow, is you dont, i suggest you go now, your all going to have to trust me for the next week, i know what im doing" Cytre replied

"of course, we trust you" yelled all of the pirates, even though there guts told them to run, run as fast as they could, and don't look back.

The small group of 10 approached a cave, they dismounted and walked in, slowly and cautiously, with Cytre leading.

The group approached a "gang" of skeletons, the pirates drew there swords, and let out a mighty cheer, as they charged into battle.

Cytre blocked the skeletons attacks, then dived to the left, and sliced into the spine of the skeleton, as she simoltainously ducked from another swords "bite" and smashed its leg with her fist. The second skeleton fell to the floor as she kicked its head away, she spun round to see the results of her "comrades" but she was jumped by a third skeleton, as its grip was tight round here neck, they jumped back so that the ambushers body was crushed by the rock wall, then she span round and sliced into its bony neck.

"WHAT THE HELL" yelled a obviously frustrated and confussed pirate

"didnt i already say trust me or leave" she replied, then silence fell among the group of 7, as three has died in the attack.

The group walked forward until the reached an opening, the rocky tunnel had exspanded into a massive hall, there was a silver pool down to there right, with a waterfall coming down from the left, with many plants growing all around the cave.

"Its buetiful" Cytre whispered. But in the middle of the hall was a stone circle on which a lightly glowing blue crystal was laying. Cytre walked forward to pick it up, but as her hand brushed the stone, a rumbling occured, and a massive creatire appeared from the back wall as it crumbled to the floor.

This creature was a brown snake like creature, with two horns that were facing the front, his spiked tail whipped ferioucly around, smashing many rocks and toppling the waterfall, as it fell to the groud with a thud. but the snake like creature also had small wings, like those of a dragon.

The creature slithered fowards at tremendous speeds, its tail smashed into the body of two of the pirates as it spat acid at another leaving the group to 4 people, cytre braced her self as the snake charged forwards, then she jumped back onto a rock then flipped onto the remains of the toppled waterfall, and jumped back onto the head of the snake.

She tried to put her sword in his head, but he was moving to fast. Cytre grabbed one of his horns and swung her self round so that her eyes looked into the enormouse eyes of her enemy, she ducked down low, then let her sword stab the cretaure in the eye, as she then swung back round, and stabbed the creature in the brain, as it fell down. Dead.

"Looks like this crystal is valuble, i better be getting payed for this" she whispered as her hands ran along the surface of the crystal.

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hopefully 2 more issues to go, that one was the longest, i promise :lol:


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Sun Feb 19, 2006 9:43 am
deleted6 says...



Quite good i read the first and wanted to read the second. Yes loads of bad spelling, but that understandable and i want to read more keep it up




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Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:40 pm
Killer-Ewok says...



so what do you think would be the best, most dramatic ending?
i was thinking that maybe cytre tries to kill the dwarven king, but when she approaches him, the dark lord walks off, keaving her to die, and the wall is overcome by orcs abd eventually the dwarven king and his guard are bought down by the large amount of enemies.




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Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:35 pm
Swires says...



Yeah I just used my example to demonstrate a mini combat and senses. But thats good.




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Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:31 pm
Killer-Ewok says...



i was thinking that the dwarf king had just killed the lord, but cytre steps in and duels him =
"She jumped down from the grey faltering wall, gripping her sword tight, staring into the eyes of the dwarf, Cytre let out a mighty scream as she jumped into the dwarvem king, he blade swinging high, but as her sword came down it was met with the rune encrusted axe of the drawven king, there they struggled to overpower there opponet."

do you mean something like that?
im still toying with the idea of whats going to happen between the dwarven king (still need a name) the dark lord and cytre.




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Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:18 pm
Swires says...



I think a battle scene would be good, but home in on a battle with 2 people(your characters) as opposed to just describing the tactics. Describe the senses as well - ie. "She stroked her sword, her weapon, her friend. She smelled the heat that came off it, full of life and energy, ready to attack. The sound of the drums echoed through the feilds, as the enemy approached".




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Sat Feb 18, 2006 1:11 pm
Killer-Ewok says...



Thanks, i did spend longer on this story than the last one, and ive slowed down the pace so i can get the characters across.
and about the punctuation, you try writing a story at a sleep over when every1 is asleep and your still awake, tired, but awake :lol: :D im still thinking of ideas for 3 and 4, im thinking the battle will be in the next one, and the last part will describe whats going to happen to every1 else in the future and things like that. what do you think? the battle might continue from 3 to 4 though.




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Sat Feb 18, 2006 10:43 am
Swires wrote a review...



What an improvement! :D Evil Armadda(SP?) 2 is much better written than the first. Youve slowed the pace slightly which is good. A few points:

1) Instead of saying "The Lord" perhaps you should use his name mentiooned in Evil A 1. This way we done get confused whos saying what, when.

2) Yeah, the grammer needs tidying up!

Its coming along, I can only hope the next one is even better, I can see your writing progressing. You are beginning to describe the scene much better. Well done.





How can I be king of the world? Because I am king of rubbish. And rubbish is what the world is made of.
— Kate DiCamillo, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane