Sureal

Thankyou so much Imp. ^_^ I'll get around to editing this as soon as I find the time (about a week from now), as well writing the third chapter. Just ...

Pandora’s Tears Chapter Two -- Great Wyncote Date: 14th August, 2011 ‘Not a bad job, this,’ said Petterson, his gun slung over his lean shoulders. ‘I was getting sick of ...

Imp: I tried jigging that section around in all the different ways I could think (including the way you suggested), but none of them really 'worked'. At the moment, I ...

Later books in the series don't abuse the exclamation mark, but I'm not sure if this is the author improving as a writer, or a way to represent the growing ...

If you want more replies, try critting other people's work. Technically, you shouldn't have actually posted any of your own work yet, as the rules say you should crit two ...

He didn't just quote it - for some strange reason, he decided to delete my words and add in his own - such as replacing 'Lieutenant' with 'Gayboy'. The complete ...

Edited Chapter One :). I'll continue to update and improve it, so all future crits of it are very much welcomed. I'm also gonna start work on Chapter Two.

BTW: Who is Pratchett? Never read him, lol. Terry Pratchett is one of the best selling British authors, beaten only JK Rowling. He's the author of the fantasy humour/satire series, ...

Yo again 8). Rosin /2 ‘The sage , emotionless, limped towards him’ - Everywhere else you’ve capitalised ‘Sage’. ‘Rosin smiled again, nothing like a Sage, it was in their blood.’ ...

Oh, if this is what you wanna put in your enquiry to an editor/literary agent, may I suggest that you scrap this blurb and rewrite it from start? Don't want ...

Thanks for the crit :). I'll be editting this today. Two things: This is for my own homework - why do you only use single speech marks? Ive always used ...

Oh, my bad. I accessed it from the 'View posts since last visit' page, which doesn't show the descriptions.

Thank you so much for the crit :). The whole sentance structure thing had been really bugging me, but I hadn't been able to work out what the problem was ...

Derren /3 ‘The lizards that crawled into the crypt would have devoured fresh bones away, he hoped Varzin was wise enough to know that because the skeleton was supposed to ...

Here’s a quick run down of part two :). ‘Scall was unfazed.’ - I don’t like this sentence. It breaks the flow of the dialogue and doesn’t provide any useful ...