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Re: Gorrath: Part 3
The first thing I would like to point out, I don't know if it is a formatting error ot not, but there should be more space between the different dialogue ...
Jul 27, 2007 -
Re: The Turquoise Scarab #4 *PUT ON HOLD FOR MEGA COMPOSTING*
Haroun-rän stood and stared out at the horizon, following the path of a wheeling vulture with his eyes; Nathu played uneasily with the hem of his tunic and glared at ...
Jul 24, 2007 -
Re: Harestin, The Tale Of - 3
Sorry if I sound a bit picky, I am... I know. First thing is that the dialogue lost me, completely. The start of the dialogue was fine (BTW, anyone know ...
Jul 24, 2007 -
Re: Song of the Secret Keepers
The smug smirk of the over confident graced Ryal's thin lips. Seems a bit off to me, I'd suggest using "The smug smirk of over confidence graced Ryal's thin lips." ...
Jul 24, 2007