Spazztardchild

OK. I won't say the 'C word' again. But please do. Random secks scene. Although not. It is a little bit better! me experience They all looked older then they ...

Again, check for the caps please! I may be repeating myself but, to me this reads more like a script than a story! Make them do something interesting or just ...

Eek! I just noticed: in the title: really is spelt relally. Capitalise. Pretty please? With cherries on top and everything! Do not, however, make WHOLE WORDS capitalised. It is incredibly ...

OK. I'm not so much of a fan of HSM ... :| Errm you have missed out a heck of a lot of capital letters at the start of your ...

Arrgh no! They didn't end up together. I could sense it coming, anyhow. ... more than them being together anyway. Tangled Up In Blue was one of the best romantic ...

Ima agree with Sam, above me there! Not one nit pick, which is unusual for me and a celebratory event for you! *Shakes hand* I like the grime. The way ...

Oh wowzers! I really loved reading this - it is so good, there is not much to say! but one of the breasts is off Eeek! That sounds a bit ...

I like this. I have never seen or read Eragon but, it sounds quite good based on what you have written. I obviously cannot say much more, because of the ...

I third on the being 'hooked'! Add me to your long list of people to be PM'd when you release the next chapter please! The way you have described the ...

I love this start to your story! It's very unique. Tara seems to shine, she is that sunny, which is rare in a story of this type; they're normally all ...

The only thing that I can critique on is the mixing of formality and informality doesn't really read too well. It seems like you are writing Echo as an extroverted ...

I'ma do the shortened version per paragraph instead of sentence ... lol [nc] = no comma, [s-c] = semi-colon and [i] = italics this is the piece i did for ...

Cute romance! An original twist on the concept of witches and their familiars. My questions are: When is this set? Modern times or Ye Olde Medieval Tymes? Also what is ...

I was thinking the same as DC622! We need some insight into her thoughts, so maybe describing the pain from the crash and her panic as she realises she is ...