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(At the beginning of the story). Is this really a thing you have to do Bailey? I...I mean won't Dr. Sembagh be angry when he finds out that Toby told ...

I'm intrigued by the beginning of this chapter. I'm curious about why you chose to flash back to before Toby's twin sisters were born. No need to explain it to ...

" Coach Johnson might have seemed like your everyday, normal gym coach, but he had a story that somehow managed to be all those things at the same time. " ...

Another solid chapter! "I wasn't sure what quite to expect from the guy, but the way Chuck and Bailey talked about him, he had lived quite the interesting life." --The ...

I've been looking forward to getting back to this story all morning. :) "My palms oozed warm sweat over the ice cold door hand, my glare twitching amongst the silver ...

"Romero stepped out of the diamond encrusted elevator, " --First. O_O Do diamond-encrusted elevators actually exist? (Second, put a dash between "diamond" and "encrusted" to make it an adjective modif

" Charles cackled, slowly rising from his seat, before creeping over to Eric, who didn’t move a muscle in light of his presence. “Hah. Look at you. Pathetic,” Charles said. “Confined ...

Another perfect opening to the chapter... "I did understand one thing perfectly clear, though – sleep wasn’t coming tonight." --The phrase would be "perfectly clearly", since "clearly" is modifyin

" I had had enough of this bickering. “Yo-you want to go look for it?” I said. “I mean uh, like, you know…to-together?” " --Toby's continued fascination with this obviously ...

" I guess you might be wondering why I cared so much about this Ben person." --Well, not me, but maybe some people are. I'm just as curious as you ...

I'm so excited to have time to read another chapter now! If I didn't want to write a review on each chapter, I'd probably be blasting through this story and ...

Wow! That was great! I really enjoyed reading it, and it totally captures the feeling of what it's like to have a crush on someone. I had a crush on ...

Ah, back to Heartbeat Academy! And it looks like I might not be catching up to you this time...Probably won't be going through it as fast now. Still, I can't ...

Oh my goodness, this did not disappoint. The title intrigued me but really didn't tell me what the story would be about. I wasn't sure quite what to expect, goodness, ...

Simple and compelling. It covered a lot of events in a very short time, but I didn't get too much of a feeling of being rushed along. It might be ...