Snoink

The big thing that is keeping you from making this story truly enjoyable is the fact that you want to make your character semi-retarded. I mean, otherwise it's catchy and ...

Okay! So even before I read the part with Ginsberg mentioned, I realized that you really really liked Ginsberg. Why? Because you were trying to imitate his style. I think ...

Sorry for not seeing this sooner! ^_^ I just want to comment on a couple of things. First of all, and this may be a particular preference of mine, but ...

This is funny. :) It reminds me of this one book I read about this detective meeting various "evil" characters and realizing that they weren't that evil after all. So ...

Moonlight dances in the water, while

Hello! First of all, welcome to YWS. :) I'm an evil critiquer, so hopefully you won't mind my critique too much. I like your attitude of wanting to learn, so ...

Hi Mantis! You asked me to critique this, so here I am! :D Sorry for taking a while to respond. Anyway, let's go over your story, shall we? ;) I ...

Haha, I totally did not procrastinate on critiquing this poem because I was playing Pokemon obsessively... really. XD Well... okay, so I was actually editing FREAK, but still. Your poem ...

To make the argument even more persuasive, try explaining what puppy mills are before you start telling us the facts. I have never heard of puppy mills before I read ...

Hehe, this reminds me of a couple of stories that I've read. Which is good, because this is a genre I actually really like. It's funny (for the most part, ...

Tell me if you can't open Word files... most of the technical stuff on the critique is in the Word file, and it would be slightly ridiculous if you couldn't ...

Er... poke me if I don't critique this in the next couple of days. And I am sorry for this lame post, but... well... I am starting to fall asleep, ...

Oh, but this is a lovely beginning! I think it would be lovely still if it were developed just a little more and you would describe the beach a little ...

I saw a grammar error, but I'm hoping someone else points it out, because I don't want to refind it. :P Anyway! Here are my notes. And mind you, I ...

A couple of thoughts: First of all, the first narrator either seems like a girl or an old man. This is because the voice just sounds really really bitter. And ...