SnapesOnAPlane

Below is the passage with grammatical corrections, editing suggestions, etc. If I encountered a paragraph or section without anything to comment on, I left and ellipses (…) in place of ...

Alright! Before I begin, I'd like to say that I have not read the Pt. 1 of the prologue (which is horrible of me, I know. I'm actually pretty interested ...

Yes! That's what I like to see =D Not that your original essay was bad, or anything, but this one is certainly better. It has more direction and tells a ...

Interesting...it's too short yet to really see what is going on, but I like what you've got so far. I'm definitely wanting to know more about these two and what ...

As others have said, this is much too narrative in nature, and that the main focus should be selling yourself. One major problem that I encountered when writing college letters ...

An interesting start. The characters have distinct personalities, which is always good to see. Especially Vivian. She sounds like she's got more going on than meets the eye. Well, here ...

I must say, I'm intrigued. Is this a story about a supernatural killer, perhaps? Hmmm... Well, here are my thoughts: -It was a bit short and rushed. Prologues tend to ...

Generally, I enjoyed it, but I didn't like the way the characters talked. Their accents were a tad confusing. They spoke modernly, but then you threw in a few "thee"s ...

Woah, just woah =0 a good way. You really captured the raw emotions from something "so simple" as a Gym activity. I think everyone can relate to that experience on ...

This sounds interesting! I'm looking forward to reading more. blowing her long hair about. 'about' is not the right word here. aycee clicked her fingers again You forgot the "J". ...

I liked the incorporation the clock theme, how it mimicked her Dad's hobby, I mean. That's certainly unique. Footstep after heavy footstep, I trudged through the newly-formed snowdrifts, praying that ...

Interesting. I liked the repetition of "Servants! It is time!". It added a nice touch of unity...plus, it just sounded cool =p The first issue I had was with Malqkwyt ...

Woah! Steamy~ If I'm reading this correctly, it's about an affair between a teacher and a student, right? Well, I liked it! I'm not exactly a poetry expert, but I ...

Ooh, interesting! I'm a sucker for fantasy novels. I want to learn more about this electric princess. Judging by the sound of the horses’ hooves I’d say there were about ...

Good job! It conveyed a message, and I liked the characterization of the main character. My room is full of pictures, that they covered the walls, hiding the ugly pink ...